Dr. Susan Love Research Foundation

I am a 31-year-old, never-been-married woman. I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma in February.

Back in 2008, I found a small pea-size lump in my left breast. I had a mammogram due to my family history, as I knew at that point that both my Mom and Aunt carried the BRCA1 genetic mutation. My mom had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer at age 42, and my aunt had previously been diagnosed with breast cancer.

My mammogram results came back clear, and I was told to follow up in a year or so. A year later, I noticed an increase in size in the same location on my left breast. I went to a specialist because I was also going to be tested for the BRCA1 gene. My sister and cousin were also tested the same week. In March 2009, I had an MRI, along with an ultrasound and the genetic testing. They found three "cysts"--one in my left breast and two in my right breast. The one in my left breast had some calcifications, so they were a little more concerned about that one than the others, and I was told that I should come back for a follow-up appointment in six months. Two weeks later, my sister, my cousin and I learned our test results. I was the only one that tested negative.

After learning that they carried the BRCA genetic mutation, my sister and cousin, who were both 30, decided to have a double mastectomy as well as a hysterectomy to decrease their risk of ovarian cancer.

Six months went by. I had no fear of getting breast cancer because my genetic test had been negative. The week before my 6-month follow-up my physician called me and asked to reschedule due to reconstruction that was going on in the building. I told her that I would call and reschedule after looking at my calendar. (I had no intention of making this a priority—I was BRCA1 negative!!!)

At the end of January, they called me clear out of the blue and told me I needed to come in immediately as I was now 4 months overdue for my 6-month follow-up appointment. They wanted me in that week. I went alone to the appointment, which will be the last time I make that mistake. They told me I needed an ultrasound. I have no family where I live, and I call anyone to come be with me, as I thought it was not going to be a big deal.

It's amazing the things that go through your head as you watch a radiology technician and student looking at a screen and nod to themselves as they point at different parts of your "tumor" in your left breast. I could see it. I KNEW it was bad. It was no longer a neat little perfect circle with a black center. It was now a much larger 12-headed monster with a lot of gray matter and white little spots everywhere inside of it. They immediately called in the radiologist and that was when I knew. It was cancer. They didn't tell me that. I knew.

They took five biopsies of the tumor in my left. They were planning on doing a biopsy on my right breast as well, but after the third biopsy on my left breast I passed out. It wasn't from pain. It was from the images of my 6-year-old daughter running through my head, as well as many other things. Two days later I officially learned that it was cancer—invasive ductal carcinoma.

I stayed with my sister that weekend and had that Monday off for Presidents Day, thank God!! Because I just knew it was bad news, and I knew that I couldn't receive that news if I was not with my family. I can't even describe the emotions that went through my head. The FEAR. The ANGER. The SADNESS!! It was like I was sitting there and everyone was running around me in circles. That lasted a day. Then, my faith snapped me out of that situation and got me to start making the hardest decisions I think I will ever have to make.

I immediately got in to see a breast specialist/surgeon. She immediately got me in to see a highly recommended oncologist, who recommended a very aggressive chemotherapy regimen—a combination of Docetaxel and Carboplatin every 21 days for 6 months. I will also receive a weekly injection of Herceptin for a year. I will also take some sort of hormone blocker pill everyday for 5 years.

I am at peace with this because I prayed with the ultimate faith that He would work through my oncologist to ensure I got the best treatment to make sure that this will be the end of it. After the 6 months of the chemo I will have a double mastectomy and reconstruction following that. I will also be having my ovaries removed because my particular type of cancer is fed by hormones. This was and is probably the hardest thing for me to deal with because I have never been married and have always wanted at least one more child. Unfortunately, getting pregnant could increase my risk for a recurrence. But I have a beautiful 6-year-old daughter that I would rather be here for through all her major moments in life than risk that for my dreams.

It was difficult before being a single mom trying to date and find a partner for life. Now, I have to do that not being able to have children. So that is hard to swallow. But I do know this: Good things will come from all of this. I don't know what it is yet. I do know my relationship with God is growing each and everyday. It's given me more focus on the more important things in life. I know God has a plan for each and every one of us. He doesn't inflict us with this horrible evil disease, but He will use it for His glory, and I'm comforted in knowing that.

As far as me testing BRCA1 negative. All of my doctors are still dumbfounded over it. My mom and aunt who had it also had 3 brothers who also have all tested positive. I have 15 cousins and so far out of all of us 8 have been tested and 7 have been found be found positive. I was the only negative one, and here I am.

My cousin Annie likes to kid me and say it's because I had to one-up everyone. Ha ha!! I know my story is long, but I wanted to share with everyone that cancer IS NOT the end of the road!!! God is stronger than ANY CANCER!!!! Everyone is different. Do your research. (I find it very overwhelming). I had to just basically throw my hands up and say "God- You're in control!!" I told myself that at my appointment with my oncologist when I would find out my regimen that it wasn't the oncologist speaking…it was God knowing what is best to get rid of this once and for all!! I truly believe in His healing. I hope this gives someone some comfort or hope or courage or something. God Bless you all who are facing this wicked ordeal!!! Let's get through it and put it behind us once and for all!!!! Amen. :)